Do not underestimate the determination of a quiet man

Thus spoke a former leader of the Conservatives, Ian Duncan Smith (IDS) who was widely derided in this role. Yet, he is now the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions and depending on your view he is working to redress the burden on the state and the tax payer and objectively, by some critics, is considered to be doing a good job. Across the water in the Emerald Isle there is another quiet man who like IDS spent years as leader of the opposition. Enda Kenny bided his time and unlike IDS clung on to the leadership role despite being derided near and far and wide. A skit on You Tube of his seeming audition on the X factor with clips of Simon Cowell interpersed with a performance of Enda at the podium is a case in point.

But Enda sat quietly on the opposition benches and to be honest, that was about all he had to do to ensure that his party wiped the floor with a Government in free fall in the last election in Ireland. Since then, this quiet man hosted the Queen of England and the President of America to the small country in the space of a week. He sought and got concessions on the EU handout to Ireland. But this week he surpassed himself with his pronunciation on the institution of the Vatican. Nice one, Enda.

The Social Network

Watching TV last night on our huge screen attached to cinema surround sound I said to Alex – I’ve seen this Come Dine With Me. At least three times, I added. This led me to moan about the fact that with that Sky record thingy all we seem to watch is Come Dine With Me. What’s going on? Are we crucifying ourselves by watching people cook and eat meals which sometimes look mouth watering but which we both know we should be avoiding. After all, our nuptials are looming in the Fall. Why don’t we ever watch a movie I asked and our eyes drifted to the shelf full of unwatched DVDs and Blue Ray discs. You see neither of us is supremely confident about hitting the right buttons on the three remote devices needed for our home entertainment system. How about The Social Network I suggested. If you can get the thing to work, fine, Alex replied.

So we unwrapped the disc and I inserted in the drawer and lo and behold – cinema surround sound or what! We wondered what our 70 year old neighbour made of the thumping deep bass sound. We had the sound, but no picture. After much fiddling on the three aforementioned devices we eventually had success. And we sat back to watch the movie.

It was indeed very good if it did take some time to adjust to the fast pace of the dialogue and the plot. But it turned out to be a very well told story of an autistic genius who, ironies of ironies, created FACEBOOK as forum for social interaction.; he who was so poor at this. It also contained the story of friendship and ultimate betrayal which is a sad one. In real life, objectively, the creator has achieved enormous success but we do not know how connected he really is. It brings to mind a recent edition of the Women’s Hour where the topic of adult children who emigrate was being discussed. One wistful mother declared that Skype was all very well but you can’t hug it.

Reading of the Banns

Well, ok, it wasn’t quite that but Alex and me did go to register our intent at the town hall this morning. Tom, the registrar could not have been nicer. He told us all about his gay sister and then there was his uncle – the only gay in a small village in Lincolnshire. I couldn’t help thinking how unfortunate the poor man was. What could be worse than being gay and having no-one to play with no matter how protective and understanding the village.

After a few words of explanation of the procedure, Tom asked Alex to leave the room while I was interviewed alone. OMG. I racked my brains to try and think what her favourite colour is this week. I quickly decided to opt for green if asked, but dithered whether it was red. I was asked details about myself such as my name and date of birth. I resisted the urge to indicate that as he had my passport in his possession he could check for himself. I answered his questions without hesitation. My mother’s name, my father’s name. Alex’s full name. Her date of birth and so on. But the question of her favourite colour was not an issue. He then printed a page and I had to check it very carefully for accuracy and sign it.

Then it was my turn to leave the room and Alex went in for her interrogation. How nerve racking. One wrong answer and our whole plans are in disarray. I waited anxiously in the ante room considering the plasterwork. Eventually Tom came in for me and I was back at his desk beside Alex and it was smiles all round. As soon as we handed over the £67 in used bank notes the job was done. He then referred to Alex as my fiancé, so we are now officially engaged.

We went on for a celebratory lunch in the sun to mark our new status and while waiting for the salads to arrive I asked Alex what her favourite colour was. I was right. It is green.