Thursday 16 December 2010

Oat Bran and the Weather

Marge and I got drunk one night, years ago, with the Proclaimers as we walked 500 miles around the houses in the bar of a hotel on the banks of the Foyle. The great thing about Marge is that she had no idea who they were or anything about their music. But she loved the talk of politics and the unions and when Marge is in full flow it's hard to get a word in edgeways. I met my dear friend, Marge, last night in Fitzrovia. In the pub, to be precise, where Dylan Thomas and George Orwell enjoyed a pint in days of yore. Not sure how they would have enjoyed last night, packed as it was with well heeled, well wrapped up 20 and 30 somethings. Anyway, enough of them. Marge was looking well, so well in fact, that I passed her by without recognising her. She has lost one and a half stone since October. Oat bran is the answer and weight loss is not its only benefit; apparently. It's good for reducing both cholesterol and fluid retention So I am now trying to source this miracle food . . . but why oh why do the main supermarkets not stock it? I am taking it as a sign not to rush into these things and hold off on diets and eating plans until the New Year.

Marge is also an expert on the weather she reminded me, as she relished the organic wheat beer in the tavern. Marge explained in great detail, what the source of this cold weather is. It’s to do with the airplanes, you see. In the summer. And something to do with the displacement of the Gulf Stream. I am not sure if this is linked with the Volcanic Ash or not.

I have noticed with Marge that her knowledge expands in direct relation to the number of pints consumed. I have also noticed that my ability to digest knowledge reduces in direct proportion to the number of pints consumed... but if George and Dylan had been around last night they would have hung on to her every word as the Proclaimers once did, back home in Derry.



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